Now when most of you think of a parents proudest moments of their kids you would normally say a child's first steps, the day they became potty trained, or the very first day of kindergarten.
It occurred to me one day that this may be the biggest overall fallacy of all time. Those are highlights in a kids life that symbolize accomplishments. After carefully analyzing the way society has taken its turn I think that a parents proudest moments now are the day their child falls into their very first career.
I know your probably saying "well outside of a kid graduating high school and college what more is there to be proud of"? My answer is.... THERE IS ALOT MORE TO BE PROUD OF!!!!
EXAMPLE TIME
Lets take Hollywood actor and father of a very beautiful daughter... Laurence Fishburne. Now his credentials as an actor are out of this world... He helped to fight a revolution in the Matrix for God's Sake! Although he has invested alot of time into his acting career he definitely shouldve hugged his daughter a little bit more after everyday after filming a movie. For those wondering who his daughter is I challenge you to Google the name Montana Fishburne A.K.A Chippy D and see what comes up.
As a Father.... #EPICFAIL
Next is Americas favorite parents George and Cindy Anthony. Not sure what kind of school they sent their daughter Casey to but one thing is for sure... She became our modern day Freddy Kruger.
Maybe if these parents would have focused more on their daughters psychological issues this situation could have been avoided. The first sign is when their daughter Casey accidentally killed the family cat (by running over it on the way to a teenage party) and threw the body in the next door neighbors dog kennel claiming "the dog Zanny bit the cats head off". But even still they wouldn't have found out until months later.
As Parents.... #EPICFAIL
Lets start preparing our children for things to either keep their legs closed or things to keep them from getting tattoos after leaving their kids with fake babysitters. In Essence... Prepare them for the real world PLEASEEEEE!!!!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Say hello to the infamous "Social Media Celebs"
Okay lets go in the forbidden direction that almost everyone is dying to expose but no one wants to because they dont want to be the ones being accused of being a "Social Media Celeb"
Well as we all know this "Social Media Celeb" thing is like that one dude in high school that everyone knew because he was the first person to have a car, he was referred to as "ol boy wit da car". Noone knew his name noone knew his personality, just "ol boy wit da car".
A "Social Media Celeb" is trademarked by several characteristics but definitly not limited to these traits at all
1. You see this person and wonder..." Who the F*** are you"!!!! These types of people generally have no real personality in fact they are the most unsocial people to ever walk the face of the earth. A deaf blind person has more personality than this type of person. They are also the ones who tend to have fake names in their social media profiles because they dont want to be looked up because they are in fear of being identified by the public. You will never really see this person because their to busy talking trash on Social Media.
2. This persons profile normally carries between 40-100000 tweets or pics of themselves. They usually spend time tweeting or updating their pages because they really dont have much of a real social life at all... outside of Social Media.
3. Now its ok to be bitter because everyone has their days but the "Social Media Celeb" tends to never have anything good to say about the opposite sex. Theyre about as bitter as lemonade with no sugar on a piece of sour doughbread. They tend to be the ones telling the social media world how good they are and issuing reminders about how nobody else is really on their level. That "Social Media Celeb" must have forgotten that theyre single for a reason but dont worry.... Those of you who actually find out the identity of this "Social Media Celeb" will let them know how important they really are to the rest of us.
These may be some familiar things on your social network pages so I will say this.... If you see a person fitting this description there isnt really much to say, tweet , or message simply because theyre gonna be too busy..... Being in their own little famous world.
Well as we all know this "Social Media Celeb" thing is like that one dude in high school that everyone knew because he was the first person to have a car, he was referred to as "ol boy wit da car". Noone knew his name noone knew his personality, just "ol boy wit da car".
A "Social Media Celeb" is trademarked by several characteristics but definitly not limited to these traits at all
1. You see this person and wonder..." Who the F*** are you"!!!! These types of people generally have no real personality in fact they are the most unsocial people to ever walk the face of the earth. A deaf blind person has more personality than this type of person. They are also the ones who tend to have fake names in their social media profiles because they dont want to be looked up because they are in fear of being identified by the public. You will never really see this person because their to busy talking trash on Social Media.
2. This persons profile normally carries between 40-100000 tweets or pics of themselves. They usually spend time tweeting or updating their pages because they really dont have much of a real social life at all... outside of Social Media.
3. Now its ok to be bitter because everyone has their days but the "Social Media Celeb" tends to never have anything good to say about the opposite sex. Theyre about as bitter as lemonade with no sugar on a piece of sour doughbread. They tend to be the ones telling the social media world how good they are and issuing reminders about how nobody else is really on their level. That "Social Media Celeb" must have forgotten that theyre single for a reason but dont worry.... Those of you who actually find out the identity of this "Social Media Celeb" will let them know how important they really are to the rest of us.
These may be some familiar things on your social network pages so I will say this.... If you see a person fitting this description there isnt really much to say, tweet , or message simply because theyre gonna be too busy..... Being in their own little famous world.
Monday, July 11, 2011
What this Lockout Means to US!!!! PT.2
For those of you who have no idea on what this NFL/NBA LockOut is I'll attempt to DUMB it down for you.
If your a woman this simply means that your favorite store (H&M, Forever21, Flea Market for knock off Louis Red Bottom Heels, and even the elegant Victorias Secret) has temporarily closed down due to financial issues. Now this sounds highly impossible because you know you shop there alot.
From these stores being closed you see alot more stores trying to sell you things for example, The Salvation Army for Clothes(GOLF), Dollar General for your accessories(Nascar), but dont worry the Flea Market is still open for you to pick up those Knock Off Louis Red Bottom Heels(Arena Football,Canadian Football, and Playing over seas Bball) Its the same just a lower version of the real thing.
Got it???? GOOD!!!!!
Now for you macho fakes who claim to follow the sports but youre too busy watching Single Ladies and BasketBall Wives.
This LockOut!!!! I can only break this thing down by comparing it to the one thing that we love the most... WOMEN!!
Just close your eyes and imagine that every pretty woman you ever came across told you this... Im a Virgin( REALASS LOCKOUT)!!! Terrifying right?
Now the only women who are willing to give it up are the:
-Butt Ugly Ones(GOLF),
-the Ones With No Teeth in their Mouth(BASEBALL, HARD TO LOOK AT BUT STILL ENTERTAINING GET IT*BLOWJOB*),
and the ones with a whole lot of Kids=Nascar a whole lot of cars.
Fellas at this point all we can do is wait, pray, and hope to God that this LockOut ends!!
If your a woman this simply means that your favorite store (H&M, Forever21, Flea Market for knock off Louis Red Bottom Heels, and even the elegant Victorias Secret) has temporarily closed down due to financial issues. Now this sounds highly impossible because you know you shop there alot.
From these stores being closed you see alot more stores trying to sell you things for example, The Salvation Army for Clothes(GOLF), Dollar General for your accessories(Nascar), but dont worry the Flea Market is still open for you to pick up those Knock Off Louis Red Bottom Heels(Arena Football,Canadian Football, and Playing over seas Bball) Its the same just a lower version of the real thing.
Got it???? GOOD!!!!!
Now for you macho fakes who claim to follow the sports but youre too busy watching Single Ladies and BasketBall Wives.
This LockOut!!!! I can only break this thing down by comparing it to the one thing that we love the most... WOMEN!!
Just close your eyes and imagine that every pretty woman you ever came across told you this... Im a Virgin( REALASS LOCKOUT)!!! Terrifying right?
Now the only women who are willing to give it up are the:
-Butt Ugly Ones(GOLF),
-the Ones With No Teeth in their Mouth(BASEBALL, HARD TO LOOK AT BUT STILL ENTERTAINING GET IT*BLOWJOB*),
and the ones with a whole lot of Kids=Nascar a whole lot of cars.
Fellas at this point all we can do is wait, pray, and hope to God that this LockOut ends!!
What this Lock Out means to US!!!
Ok so everybody is pretty much aware of the NFL and NBA LockOut situations. I can examine this from 3 points of View.... The Owners, the Players, and the Spectators/Viewers.
1. The Owners.. Someone up top is probably saying "wow! I havent watched an NFL/NBA game in a while. Do we really employ this many blacks"?(these thoughts arent of a racist) The mind of an Owner is automatically at a stand still for the moment. Now lets examine the Owners role in having a team: Managment from top level to ground level, in charge of making multi million dollar deals with companies, signs contracts with the NFL/NBA for salary caps etc... Not throwing footballs, making threes from the field, or Mosssing/Booming on muthaF***as that try to stop them from scoring. But they make millions because they deserve it.
Thats Cool!
2. The Players... Now they have playbooks to study, practices to attend, they cant ride motorcycles anymore and they all have to try to keep up with the physical ability of Michael Vick(nearly impossible)
They deserve their millions as well
Thats Cool!
3. Now for the Spectators.... The whack ass job having, minimum wage making, go to jail cuz we cant even smoke a muthaF***in blunt in our nation asses! We suffer the most of them all. Since these LockOuts began lets examine the things that have taken place in America...
A. In New York they passed the Gay Marriage Law(not against gays),
B. Donald Trump tries to run for president,
C. Atlanta Public Schools are cheating on a test that some asshole made up,
D. MORE MEN ARE WATCHING SHOWS LIKE SINGLE LADIES AND BASKETBALL WIVES??? and Last but probably the most F***ed up of all.....
A MOTHER KILLS HER CHILD AND AMERICA LETS HER WALK!!!!!
GIVE US OUR F***ING SPORTS BACK!!!!!!!!
1. The Owners.. Someone up top is probably saying "wow! I havent watched an NFL/NBA game in a while. Do we really employ this many blacks"?(these thoughts arent of a racist) The mind of an Owner is automatically at a stand still for the moment. Now lets examine the Owners role in having a team: Managment from top level to ground level, in charge of making multi million dollar deals with companies, signs contracts with the NFL/NBA for salary caps etc... Not throwing footballs, making threes from the field, or Mosssing/Booming on muthaF***as that try to stop them from scoring. But they make millions because they deserve it.
Thats Cool!
2. The Players... Now they have playbooks to study, practices to attend, they cant ride motorcycles anymore and they all have to try to keep up with the physical ability of Michael Vick(nearly impossible)
They deserve their millions as well
Thats Cool!
3. Now for the Spectators.... The whack ass job having, minimum wage making, go to jail cuz we cant even smoke a muthaF***in blunt in our nation asses! We suffer the most of them all. Since these LockOuts began lets examine the things that have taken place in America...
A. In New York they passed the Gay Marriage Law(not against gays),
B. Donald Trump tries to run for president,
C. Atlanta Public Schools are cheating on a test that some asshole made up,
D. MORE MEN ARE WATCHING SHOWS LIKE SINGLE LADIES AND BASKETBALL WIVES??? and Last but probably the most F***ed up of all.....
A MOTHER KILLS HER CHILD AND AMERICA LETS HER WALK!!!!!
GIVE US OUR F***ING SPORTS BACK!!!!!!!!
Top 5 reasons you tell someone to SHUT THE F*** UP!!!!
Your parents ever stress to you how rude it is to tell someone to shut up? Well goodnews, I aint ya parents (nor do I aspire to be) and they never said it was rude to say "SHUT THE F*** UP"
At this time I will explain to you the time, place, and manner requirements to tell a person to "SHUT THE F*** UP"
1. The most basic reason is because you dont wanna hear anything they have to say! ^SCENARIO: Your with your bf/gf and they start talking about something that only them and noone else gives a damn about! You politely turn to them and say "hey... I was thinking maybe you should (smilessss) SHUT THE F*** UP" Then proceed to pull the magnums out once everything is quiet.
2. During a movie or tv show. ^SCENARIO: Ladies have you ever been watching your favorite episode of something and there are people walking around trying to disturb the flow of your therapeutic coping skill? To bring this to a hault you simply grab the nearest glass object you can find break it on the floor and yell "SHUT THE F*** UP" then poor yourself a tall glass of Moscato call the first guy you can find in your phone and tell him "proceed to pull the magnums out" once everything is quiet.
3. When the kids are asleep. ^SCENARIO: So fellas your having a great day. You come home your lady makes dinner, ESPN is on, you had a smooth day at work and suddenly your woman comes out in this lace lingerie and you say " babe Im gonna run to the store to get some chocolate syrup" in your sexy man voice and you leave. 10 minutes later you arrive at your other girls place, kick the door in and immediately began giving her the best sex ever. She yells in passionate pleasure and you tell her "SHUT THE F*** UP!!, Yo Kids in there sleep girl!" And you proceed to pull out more magnums once everything is quiet.
4. In a time of crises. ^SCENARIO: You and two of your homeboys are walking down the street and you see a group of unfamiliar faces in the path coming your way. You look to your comrades nod your heads run up to the unfamiliar faces and say "Get the F*** on the ground!" One of those unfamiliar faces screams in horror and your comrade says "SHUT THE F*** UP" and you quickly proceed to pull out the 357 MAGNUM once everything has gotten quiet.
Now this may be the most important "SHUT THE F*** UP" of all....
5. Because Chuck Norris said so! ^SCENARIO: He simply points his finger at you and you know what time it is!!!!!
At this time I will explain to you the time, place, and manner requirements to tell a person to "SHUT THE F*** UP"
1. The most basic reason is because you dont wanna hear anything they have to say! ^SCENARIO: Your with your bf/gf and they start talking about something that only them and noone else gives a damn about! You politely turn to them and say "hey... I was thinking maybe you should (smilessss) SHUT THE F*** UP" Then proceed to pull the magnums out once everything is quiet.
2. During a movie or tv show. ^SCENARIO: Ladies have you ever been watching your favorite episode of something and there are people walking around trying to disturb the flow of your therapeutic coping skill? To bring this to a hault you simply grab the nearest glass object you can find break it on the floor and yell "SHUT THE F*** UP" then poor yourself a tall glass of Moscato call the first guy you can find in your phone and tell him "proceed to pull the magnums out" once everything is quiet.
3. When the kids are asleep. ^SCENARIO: So fellas your having a great day. You come home your lady makes dinner, ESPN is on, you had a smooth day at work and suddenly your woman comes out in this lace lingerie and you say " babe Im gonna run to the store to get some chocolate syrup" in your sexy man voice and you leave. 10 minutes later you arrive at your other girls place, kick the door in and immediately began giving her the best sex ever. She yells in passionate pleasure and you tell her "SHUT THE F*** UP!!, Yo Kids in there sleep girl!" And you proceed to pull out more magnums once everything is quiet.
4. In a time of crises. ^SCENARIO: You and two of your homeboys are walking down the street and you see a group of unfamiliar faces in the path coming your way. You look to your comrades nod your heads run up to the unfamiliar faces and say "Get the F*** on the ground!" One of those unfamiliar faces screams in horror and your comrade says "SHUT THE F*** UP" and you quickly proceed to pull out the 357 MAGNUM once everything has gotten quiet.
Now this may be the most important "SHUT THE F*** UP" of all....
5. Because Chuck Norris said so! ^SCENARIO: He simply points his finger at you and you know what time it is!!!!!
Strength Based Program for Kids!
Todays topic is a much needed discussion to have with parents who have kids that just dont give a F***!!
Parents I wont reprimand you yet, but I will attempt to post this in hopes that someone in our fine tuned society takes it into consideration.
The "Strength Based Program" is geared toward juvenile delinquents and kids who woke up one morning thinking that they didnt give 2 Sh*ts about what they do to other people. The "Strength Based Program" will be the remedy for those who feel the need to challenge the world with conduct that is disturbing frightening and just plain disorderly.
Although I cant show you my example of the "Strength Based Program" for legal reasons I will give you all an example of how it can be used: ENJOY :->
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8I4bWlctqA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4y61A4a080&feature=related
Then There's the hands on approach which will more than likely be administered by one of you future teachers of America
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKJ034sBov0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDF3xMrQZKA&feature=related
Remember, the children are our future but when they F*** up who are we to not put them in their muthaF***in place!!!!
Sincerely,
TeddyMav7 AGAIN!!
Parents I wont reprimand you yet, but I will attempt to post this in hopes that someone in our fine tuned society takes it into consideration.
The "Strength Based Program" is geared toward juvenile delinquents and kids who woke up one morning thinking that they didnt give 2 Sh*ts about what they do to other people. The "Strength Based Program" will be the remedy for those who feel the need to challenge the world with conduct that is disturbing frightening and just plain disorderly.
Although I cant show you my example of the "Strength Based Program" for legal reasons I will give you all an example of how it can be used: ENJOY :->
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8I4bWlctqA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4y61A4a080&feature=related
Then There's the hands on approach which will more than likely be administered by one of you future teachers of America
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKJ034sBov0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDF3xMrQZKA&feature=related
Remember, the children are our future but when they F*** up who are we to not put them in their muthaF***in place!!!!
Sincerely,
TeddyMav7 AGAIN!!
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